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Civil Conversations with “the Enemy”—A Tool for Working through Conflict
How can you have a civil conversation with people you think are absolutely wrong, even evil? Is it even possible to talk to “impossible” people when you seriously disagree about politics or religion,...
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Your rules/their rules in conflict management
The zen of the gym part 3 Do you judge people for breaking a rule you always follow? I realized recently that I was obliviously violating one of the rules posted at my gym, while burningly...
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The Kindness of Strangers—Wildfires, Empathy, and Conflict
Kindness and empathy can defuse conflict at work, or disagreements even in the midst of disasters. My beloved Sonoma County and Santa Rosa (California) have been engulfed in flames. As I write...
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Inner Tools to Survive Workplace Bullying (part 1)
Those of us who have survived workplace bullying or mobbing (bullying by a group) know how awful and traumatizing it is. In my experience as a survivor and a coach & trainer, accessing inner tools...
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Inner Tools to Survive Workplace Bullying (part 2)
Letting go of resentments is a fourth powerful tool to help you survive and heal from workplace bullying. In my last blog post I wrote about three valuable inner tools I used myself and have since...
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When Your Boss Is A Bully
I have unfortunately worked for more than one boss who was a bully. And since I started teaching, coaching, and consulting with individuals and organizations around bullying and mobbing behaviors,...
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Setting Boundaries with a Workplace Bully
Whether the bully is your boss or another employee, setting boundaries can be challenging. But deference to a supervisor or professional respect for a colleague, are different from accepting...
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Affirming the Good in Workplace Conflict—the positive role of affirmations
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash Affirming the Good in Workplace Conflict—the positive role of affirmations One of the tools I use frequently with conflict coaching clients, as well as for myself, is...
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The Power of Trying in Conflict Management
The Power of Trying in Conflict Management The power of trying often gets a bad rap in today’s culture. I remember years ago being told that “if you’re trying, you’re planning to fail.” Nike says “Just...
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Good Work Meetings Promote Harmony, Lessen Conflict
photo by RawPixel on UnSplashWell run Meetings that have skillful facilitation, promote harmony and productivity at work, while poorly run or disorganized meetings lead to frustration, resentment, and...
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The Ripple Effect of Good Conflict Skills
Photo by Jordan McDonald on Unsplash When one person gets better conflict skills, the whole organization can shift When someone at a workplace, particularly in a leadership position, learns how to...
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Effective Conflict Management versus a Quick “Fix”
Photo by Daniel Hjalmarsson on Unsplash Effective Conflict Management versus a Quick “Fix”Sometime potential individual clients or institutions and organizations who want to hire me are looking for a...
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Lost in a Conflict Story
You can’t heal a conflict if you get lost in your own story. Photo by Rommel Davila on Unsplash You can’t heal a conflict if you get lost in your own story. My conflict coaching clients are far more...
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Three Common Ways Conflict Shows Up in Organizations
Background Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash; graphic Lorraine Segal Conflict in businesses and organizations can show up in at least three different ways. Recently, I was called in to consult with...
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Avoiding a Conflict Debt at Work
Photo by Ruth Enyedi on Unsplash, added text, L.Segal Conflict debts at work are hard to pay down It is natural and human to want to avoid or dodge conflict at work or anywhere, but relying too heavily...
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Four Tips to Navigate a Difficult Conversation at Work
Photo by Amy Hirschi on UnSplash Although you can’t control the outcome of a difficult conversation or meeting at work, you can take inner action to support an effective conversation and a good...
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How “Catch and Release” Helps Conflict Management
Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash “Catch and Release”–a concept that can help us navigate conflict better. I heard someone at a community meeting use the term “catch and release” to describe how they...
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Follow the Platinum Rule in Diverse Workplaces
Photo by Hans-Peter Gauster on Unsplash/text Lorraine Segal The Platinum Rule is better than the Golden Rule at work, because not everyone is the same. Golden rule vs. Platinum rule We’ve all heard the...
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The Craziness of Workplace Mobbing
Workplace mobbing can make you feel crazy. Mobbing, also called bullying by a group, is all too prevalent in dysfunctional workplaces. It has many negative effects including impeding the productivity...
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Love and Tough Love in Conflict Coaching
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash Love and tough love are both important in conflict coaching. Conflict coaching is one of my favorite ways to help clients resolve or manage interpersonal conflicts...
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